Taking a page from the Baby Translator invented by Homer Simpson’s half-brother Herb Powell, the $100 “Why Cry Baby Analyzer” attempts to help parents figure out what their wailing bundle of joy is so upset about. While not as accurate as the Baby Translator from the Simpsons (”I have soiled myself… how embarrassing”) the WCBA can apparently detect the following dispositions: hungry, bored, annoyed, sleepy, and stressed.

Dearest CrunchGear readers: I recently had the honor and privilege of speaking to Karen Dyer, who is not only the voice of Sheva Alomar, from Resident Evil 5, but who also did said character’s motion capture. I hope you enjoy it on this day, our day of freedom.

Big Mike has been pretty quiet about the CrunchPad since it was first leaked the other month and for good reason. We’ve heard from reliable sources that Apple is still on track with an oversized iPod Touch in the coming months. We more or less know everything there is to know about the CrunchPad, but a few more specs have popped up thanks to the NYT and SF Biz Times. The CP, made by Fusion Garage, is 16mm thick with a 12-inch screen encased in aluminum.

Italian company uses RC toy submarines to run cables through sewers
WTF: GameStop selling Nintendo Wii bundles with rubber ducks, water guns
DDR-style alarm clock forces you to finger-dance first thing in the morning

In a somewhat belated move calculated to “give potential developers insight into the Atari’s gaming platform so they may possibly build upon the 7800 series,” Atari has released the source code to several awesome but rarely-played Atari 7800 games, including Dig Dug, Centipede, Joust, and Pac-Man. I’m not sure the 7800 is really competing these days, Atari, but we appreciate your contribution nonetheless.

In addition to a Mylo-esque physique and UMD-less guts, it seems that the PSP Go has a significantly improved CPU. What a pleasant surprise! Of course, this isn’t leading to some games having a “turbo mode” or any other crazy ideas you might have — it’s just making the whole PSP experience that much more responsive.

A woman was shot today at an Arlington Apple Store, for no one knows what reason. She’s in serious but stable condition and the guy is at large.

I’m surprised this hasn’t happened before: iPhones are expensive little buggers and jacking a pallet of them would be a real score.

What in the hell is LG Mobile’s president smoking because this is the most absurd thing I’ve ever read. Becoming the #2 mobile phone maker in three years is one thing considering the fact that Samsung could and would destroy them at any time. But a new Black Label device to compete with the iPhone? Or a luxe brand on par with Nokia’s Vertu? Keep dreaming, Ahn.